Building Unbreakable Bonds in Modern Family Structures
Dec 28, 2023
Jay and Mink|Tha Godays
We all know life can be an hell of a ride sometimes!! And many of us have sat back and wondered what in hell is that one thing that anchors families when times get tough.
Join us as we talk through the essence of commitment in relationships, spotlighting the undervalued vow of marriage and its foundational impact on family life. With marriage rates declining and non-traditional family structures rising, we dissect the profound consequences of these trends, especially in the context of Christian values and underprivileged communities. Our conversation ventures into the complex decisions surrounding parenthood without the intent of marriage, the increase in single-parent and blended families, and the vital role personal dedication plays in shaping stronger bonds with our partners, children, and spirituality.
As we peel back the layers of societal pressures and their influence on family dynamics, we candidly discuss the challenges faced by African-American families, the ripple effects of child support courts, and the societal pressures that fragment families. We emphasize the power of personal standards and the courage to refuse settling for less, striving to create healthier environments for future generations. Navigating the intricacies of family values, we explore how upholding our own morals and refusing to compromise on our self-worth can lead to empowered personal growth and stronger family legacies.
Wrapping up this heartfelt journey, we reflect on the lasting impressions of media's portrayal of family values, drawing inspiration from iconic TV shows like "Family Matters" and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." These discussions serve as a poignant reminder of the significance of tradition and respect in our families, the importance of long-term thinking in our life choices, and the countless benefits a supportive community can have on our well-being. Listen in for an engaging exploration of the timeless relevance of commitment and values in nurturing family life.
We all know life can be an hell of a ride sometimes!! And many of us have sat back and wondered what in hell is that one thing that anchors families when times get tough.
Join us as we talk through the essence of commitment in relationships, spotlighting the undervalued vow of marriage and its foundational impact on family life. With marriage rates declining and non-traditional family structures rising, we dissect the profound consequences of these trends, especially in the context of Christian values and underprivileged communities. Our conversation ventures into the complex decisions surrounding parenthood without the intent of marriage, the increase in single-parent and blended families, and the vital role personal dedication plays in shaping stronger bonds with our partners, children, and spirituality.
As we peel back the layers of societal pressures and their influence on family dynamics, we candidly discuss the challenges faced by African-American families, the ripple effects of child support courts, and the societal pressures that fragment families. We emphasize the power of personal standards and the courage to refuse settling for less, striving to create healthier environments for future generations. Navigating the intricacies of family values, we explore how upholding our own morals and refusing to compromise on our self-worth can lead to empowered personal growth and stronger family legacies.
Wrapping up this heartfelt journey, we reflect on the lasting impressions of media's portrayal of family values, drawing inspiration from iconic TV shows like "Family Matters" and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." These discussions serve as a poignant reminder of the significance of tradition and respect in our families, the importance of long-term thinking in our life choices, and the countless benefits a supportive community can have on our well-being. Listen in for an engaging exploration of the timeless relevance of commitment and values in nurturing family life.
You got on your keys. You got on your keys everything you want on top, everything you need just got on your keys. Nobody could take this. Built it from ground up. Nobody could break this. I make it real moves when I see it. I want it, I get it. Let's build an empire, baby. I know that you with it Can't nobody stop this. They call it. Watch this. It's time to talk. Life balance, love and marriage all the dream topics. No off days come up the hard way. Never no shortcuts. I took the long way. Gotta leave treasure for my kids, kids' pleasure.
Speaker 1:
Every love's been a lesson and an unexpected blessing.
Speaker 2:
I want to ask you this though has the baby mama, baby daddy situation replaced the ring? Has that in our time? Has that replaced the value and importance of being married?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I think that's a better way to say it, because I mean a ring can literally mean I think you know People don't take a vow to the ring. You know when you think about it and when people think about taking a vow, it's like you know. I think a lot of opinions and rigid beliefs have replaced what the real value of marriage is. That is so much or so beyond having a ring. You know. The real value of marriage is commitment.
Speaker 2:
You know what I'm saying. It's really Commitment laws interests, you know. But the first thing is commitment.
Speaker 3:
It's really Because you gotta commit to get to all that other stuff. Yeah, it's like. Are we really committing to when people say like for bad and for good, for health and sickness, for rich or for poor? It's like.
Speaker 3:
That's really true, that's really true. It's not about you just making a commitment to this person and you know, really, really like taking your vows and taking them serious, because this is like a ting of marriage. If we don't make a commitment to following God Right, because that's what you're doing when you are following God, you're making a commitment Then how can you make a commitment to someone that can't even give you life, right? You?
Speaker 2:
know what I'm saying, or even if you can't make a commitment to yourself To yourself. So when you think about like vows, vows is really, you know, it's a mindset thing and it's like am I gonna be committed to the thing, to the thing To do the work, like because it's all work that comes in along with it, like within the relationship and the relationship it's gonna be work because they're gonna have a good day it's gonna be days that you're not gonna feel like that's where anything Business, like.
Speaker 2:
It's gonna be days that you ain't making no money, right. It's gonna be days that you know I have no customers walk to the door. You know I'm saying it's gonna be days that you don't feel like, yeah, but are you gonna be committed to see it through? Right? Same thing with the relationship that you said, I think. I think you know, in our side society today, people have omitted that commitment aspect of it. So people just said Of, of, of being committed to each other, because it's like, alright, if I'm not married, and look at it, we married, and I mean that you know, if I, if we decide to call the quicks, there's enough. There's an extra layer of stuff that we gotta do, opposed to like, oh, I could. Just, you know we can, we can procreate and we can decide not to be together, folks, and it's like backwards.
Speaker 3:
You know it's now. You have more people that are okay having a lifetime commitment of a child, so it's like and this is my thoughts on it.
Speaker 1:
I'm like would you.
Speaker 3:
If you're, if you're okay with having a child with someone and that you're making a commitment to have a child With them, right, then why is it that you're, if they're good enough to have a child together but they're not good enough to?
Speaker 1:
marry.
Speaker 2:
Right you know, and so when.
Speaker 3:
I think about the family dynamic, you know. I think about. You know why is it that we're in a place in our lives now to where we, to where we're okay raising broken families? You know like literally that's what we're doing, we're you know. We'll say you know, oh, I don't want to get married. But I'll have a kid with them. But then now you are raising the kid as a single parent and.
Speaker 3:
The the dad is raising them as a single parent also. So then it's like how do we build a family value together which, really intruding when you think about it. It's so difficult in our day and age now. It's so difficult to even to even have blended families, right, you know? And so now you gotta think about it. You were raising, we're bringing up kids, and this can happen in marriage shoot.
Speaker 3:
But that's why we're talking about the commitment aspect of it. First is because when you, when you become committed to To the people that, yeah, they got married.
Speaker 3:
That's not committed. But it's like if you can commit to have a kid together, then why you cannot commit to raise your family, to build a family According to what God said. And then we're all talking about we're Christians and all this kind of thing like that. But I, but I think it goes back to even the commitment of that. You know, it's like how are we really come, how are we really committed to doing anything? Because, because we won't be committed to our walk with God.
Speaker 3:
So then that's why, a lot of times, we'll go and we'll do all of the things the wrong way. It's because doing it the right way is so much easier.
Speaker 1:
So then we're not committed to our faith walk.
Speaker 3:
We're not committed to the people that we're, that we're having kids with either we just have kids all with a nearly. We're not even committed to our goals. We're not committed to. We're okay with getting paid on a Friday, going spend all our money and just a literally wait, because it's like my happiness matters right now, and I realize it's like you know your happiness does matter right now, but at the end of the day you have to get old, and that's what you see a lot of my tick-tock.
Speaker 1:
It's like people like oh you know, oh, my mental health matters right now, but you're meant for what. You spend all your money to your middle, then you're better.
Speaker 3:
Doesn't matter right because because you're just, you're spending all this money to go out of town and go have fun and go do all these things Because it's right now, come back. So I think it's just a, I think it's just really the way that society has really shaped us now and I think that for me, you know and I'm saying this is my opinion I think that it comes down to, you know, women's, it's just like our standards.
Speaker 3:
If we don't have standards as women, Because we're the ones who give life for you know, if we don't have standards and how we want to Give life, with who we want to give life to, we just stand and we're okay with a man, just we'll be okay with you having a raw sex with us and sharing our body, making these soul ties. But we but we're not.
Speaker 2:
Okay, man, the commitment. So let me ask you Do you feel like that in your opinion, that women are using, you know, the aspect of having a child as a secondary of being married, like they're accepting that Secondary because they may feel like, okay, well, you know, I may not, I may not.
Speaker 3:
I don't think that I don't. It's hard for me to say it to, for me to say that because, you know, this is my, this is my second marriage and so, even regardless, you know, I've made a lot of mistakes in life, but you know, yeah, but I think going into like my second marriage, even though I was super young, even, you know, getting married today.
Speaker 3:
There was a certain standards that I had like, and that's really the truth, and it's not to say that to make to make anyone feel bad or whatever. I've been through a lot of things that may be reflected on what I really wanted Futuristically for my life, and so I think that that's where we have to start Put like child and ourselves as women, because then once we set those standards and once we really Hung in, I'm like what, what we value the most, we won't accept just anything. You see it, I'm saying, and so when you going back to what you said about replacing that, I truly, truly feel, in my Opinion, you hear a lot of these people, you hear I would say, oh, you know, marriages a piece of paper or I don't want to get married. I truly feel peaked. Girls and women, I, we are. We are saying that because the man that we actually Want to marry don't want to marry.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, they have my chosen because you're not gonna see here and tell me that, if, if a man that you've been with for six years right, you're still with him if he proposes to you put this big proposal together for you that you're not gonna want to marry him, but no because he's not doing those things now in the now, in retrospect, we're saying oh, I don't want to get mad cuz, it's like the woman can't control the marriage.
Speaker 2:
But they can control the birth of the child. Yeah, anybody stop having sex. So you know that that's it on that. Regardless it you, two people have sex that don't even like each other and we know that the moment that you penetrate, yeah, don't like each other. Like have a relationship. Watch it say that they don't have a situation oh.
Speaker 1:
Many people have one night stands all the time you can be somebody that they have sex with, and if you ain't protecting yourself?
Speaker 2:
then there's a possibility that a child could come from my, come from out of that right, yeah, right. So we know that people are people gonna have sex. Yeah and they know that, okay. Well, a woman can't control them being proposed to and then actually being bad for the control if they like this dude, you know, saying they, they were, they may want to marry this guy, but he ain't coming like that.
Speaker 3:
I just, you know it's so real and I really want to hear things like this, cuz I really wanna. That's why, that's why I'm coming From a place of Santa, I just don't know cuz I really want to understand In a sense, you know what? Like, what is that? Like you know, I experienced those kind of things as I was, as I was like a teenager.
Speaker 3:
What is one like what is that like when you just decide to say, oh, I'm just have a baby with somebody. That like that, you know, y'all are not even like in a real relationship, like you, you know, like in a situation like how you had, you know, your first child. It's like we're not, we just had a sex.
Speaker 1:
It's like but you were young me. Something like this happens now when people are like our age, you know so.
Speaker 3:
When you're in your 30s and you and you say, you know, I'm gonna just have this baby with this man. I just got a situation ship with him, or we got understanding, or they're married and now I'm having a baby, you know, with a married man, or that you've been with this man, you know, six years, eight years, two years. You get pregnant. He still doesn't want to. He doesn't want to marry you like, like.
Speaker 1:
What does you know? Like what is? What is it that?
Speaker 2:
that, that, I guess, is going on the million-dollar question, I'm gonna say that as a man. The million-dollar question is as a woman why would you have a kid with a guy that has not chosen you to, has not chosen to commit to you, that has not chosen to be there long term to raise that that child with you long term? We know mistakes happen, we know that.
Speaker 2:
You know people are young and then you haven't figured it out yet, but the million-dollar question even if you young, even if you, even if you made a mistake as a woman, why would you go ahead and decide to give life with a with somebody that has not decided to be there with you long term for you and that child? Because that, that, that is that that point that becomes a decision for you to make Me. So you're putting it back on a woman.
Speaker 3:
It's why it's a woman Decide to have a child with a man that has, that does not want to commit to her.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, but the decision comes before the child. It was, even, as the decision comes at the moment of when, what you guys are doing, because you two people, why?
Speaker 3:
is it man? Okay, but then I.
Speaker 2:
Need to people that that's engaging in the act, that knows the out what the outcome could be.
Speaker 1:
Because both of y'all we I mean we both- of y'all know, and even as a teenager you know that.
Speaker 2:
Okay, but if one plus one equal to if I do this, we do this together. It's a possibility, regardless. If you're in the moment, whatever happens, somebody got to take accountability to say Then you know, we're not, this ain't what it is with us, this is the possibility that could come about, but that's not what happens in some cases. You know, one one, one other parties may want that to happen. So the question be what? Why is it okay to say to, to, to procreate, create another life, when you don't even see, may not even see, a future with the person that you, that you create a life with?
Speaker 3:
Oh, that's, I don't know.
Speaker 2:
It's so God, it's, it's so possible like why, you know why are we okay now? We just like bringing, bringing children into the world, what I'll actually have without even knowing that they're gonna have a real chance of having a real family.
Speaker 3:
Just so heavy and I guess for me it's like you know, I Do put age on On some things because it's like and the reason why I'm saying it's not age.
Speaker 3:
I guess it's just like living life. You know, when you make decisions as a teenager or when you go through life, you learn. So then it's like why? Why make it to like this age? Why make it to be in your 30s and still make teenage decisions when you've lived enough life to know? You know what some of the possible outcomes are gonna be selfishness, selfishness. We don't.
Speaker 2:
We don't submit to wisdom, we don't submit the guidance, we don't submit the guy but I think, and you know, all in all, it's essential selflessness and we don't submit to none of those things because, deep down, we want to do, we want to do so. It's like I, you know, I want to have sex, I want to be with this person, I want to do this, I want run the streets, I want to do that. That's that's what I want, that's appealing to me and whatever, whatever the result is that the result is another life coming here, regardless of they come into unstable situation. It is what it is.
Speaker 3:
Yeah you know, and it is, we are and it's more of the thing is that it is more prevalent in the you know, in our community, to where we're we're, we're raising children in so many unstable, broken homes and it's a and a lot of and and a lot of times it does come from you know, the higher environment I can.
Speaker 3:
I can say this for myself, even though I'm the only one of my sisters that um Is married. Um, it's funny to me because you know, my sisters and I were four, were four, you know, of different men, but my dad is who raised me and so I love myself, dad Um, and I like to always Make sure that I I probably, I probably talked about him plenty of times. Um, but he doesn't realize it is even though my mom and I we had such a rocky, tumultuous relationship growing up. They don't realize how much I paid attention to everything that they did like, even to the way I didn't take care of my husband now, but what's so funny to me and what I was trying to say was you know you can tell that I, that I was the kid that was very inquisitive, you know, when it came to like my environment, because my parents shaped my environment, shaped me so much for even how I am now of like, how I Um, how I value my marriage Um you know um.
Speaker 3:
Just, and it wasn't even. I don't even think my parents were so young when they, when they got married, especially like my stepdad, they were so young that I don't even think that they either realize, or I'm say he even realized what he was doing. But you know, the funny thing is, even when I talk to my stepdad, um, I'm gonna stop saying stepdad, I'm just calling my dad, because that's what I call him.
Speaker 1:
When I talked to my dad the other day and we were kind of talking about this.
Speaker 3:
He was like I knew what I wanted for my girls. He was like I knew that I did not want my girls to have to live a certain type of life without me. That's what he said. So he was like so I knew that once you know I committed to your mom, then once I that, once I had you guys, because you know, they got together when he was like 18.
Speaker 3:
You know he was like I was in it because I knew that I wanted my girls to have a certain type of life. Now my dad is 50, right 52 no, he's 50.
Speaker 2:
Go ahead. Think about unselfish you have to be. He had to be and this is the thing, and you don't know my.
Speaker 3:
Yes, and my mom.
Speaker 3:
We love her, but my mom is a hard, hard cookie you know, and um, and with that being said, you know, it's so funny how, even at 18 years old, he made that commitment that, through good and bad, sickness and the health, rich are poor, that what he wanted for his kids, you know, was something that that, you know, he had to totally die to himself for.
Speaker 3:
And so, as I think about us now, even when I was talking about myself, it was like, regardless of how Jay and I came into you know, this marriage and we brought, you know, kids into the marriage together, even though Jay wanted to have a kid together, I knew that in that part of our relationship we were not ready, even though we were married, I knew we were not ready to have a kid. But he wanted to actually have a kid because of the type of mom that I was, you know, even type of mom that I was to his kids, you know he wanted, he wanted to have it because he was like I never had that before with a woman. I've never had the the option to decide if I want to have a kid, you know, with someone and then to actually raise them in one house, on one accord, you know.
Speaker 2:
And so you know. You know that you learn growing up. You know the positive influences. You know those things are difficult In a blended family because when people don't realize when you're a blended family, you are what it's all. One family, it's not just it really is, it's not just that that child's biological mama and dad, it's all, it's all of those people involved.
Speaker 3:
It's blended even when we don't feel like it's good, and it's, and it's, but it's so disconnected everybody.
Speaker 2:
That's one of the things that I was. I'm gonna say that our community has not adopted and the courts don't support it. If you go to, if you go to the child support court, you go to the. I mean, why am I gonna say the divorce? I'm gonna say child support court. 95% of the people you're gonna see in that library Of our african-american yes, that's true, under a certain income level Yep, and they're going to uphold every dysfunction that a blended family is going to go through and it's gonna spill over into. So it's like it's gonna spill over into the home. So it ain't designed for it to work. It's not designed for it to work cause you gotta think that child's going into two different environments and, depending on the environment where they spend the most time, that's what they're gonna adapt to.
Speaker 3:
Society. I wanna say this if we really think about it as a black community, society has put up so many constraints to keep us separated, to keep us, you know, at odds with each other as a black family, Literally, when you think about the things that we indulge in in society, even when it comes to the government, it's all to keep black people oppressed, black people separated. If we were to, if we were even able to come together as black people even what I was talking about with my parents, what I was able to learn from that environment was just no matter what, no matter what you work through it.
Speaker 1:
Now, this is the thing, the difference of that. Cause I have to say this when people say no matter what you work through it.
Speaker 3:
I am not talking about cheating. I want to make sure that I stand on that.
Speaker 2:
Abuse physical, mental abuse, Emotional abuse. No one has to do that.
Speaker 3:
I'm not telling people to leave their marriages, but I truly feel like you do not choose someone else over your own mental health, over your own emotional health. You just don't. I truly feel like for you to be the best person that you can be, even to the person that you are married to and that you are committed to. You have to first be the best person that you can be first to yourself before you can actually commit and be the best person to someone else. So when you so but I see those things in my childhood I saw, you know, my dad as a hardworking man that wanted his family, that committed to his family. That was like, regardless of what goes on, even if I have to go out here and I have to pick up cans, so that my girls can have a roof over their head.
Speaker 3:
That is what they're gonna do, so in turn. Even my mom like my mom, like she didn't know that she, that she taught me how to be a wife. You know like, regardless of her, you know giving me a lesson and sitting me down and saying you know, simone, this is what you have to do, this I paid attention to the environment.
Speaker 1:
So going back to what we were talking about, when we're rearing, raising our children in these environments that are not conducive for the adults that they're gonna be, because, regardless of if we can sit here, we can try to deny it so much.
Speaker 3:
But whatever environment your children grow up in, whether it is dysfunctional, whether it is negative, positive, you know a lot of. You know brokenness, the mom fighting with the dad. You know the mom talking about, you know the dad to her friends, all of those kind of things your kids are gonna pick up on and I guarantee you that you're gonna see it again from your kids later on in life.
Speaker 3:
And that is why it is super important for us as black people when we're thinking about procreate together when we're thinking about saying, oh, I'm okay with being just Simone's baby mom, like before we do that, like let's start having standards of how we wanna operate in life, how we wanna bring kids into this world.
Speaker 1:
You know the values that we wanna actually impart into our children.
Speaker 3:
Because if we can just do that, first we won't have so many broken families. We won't. As women, we won't accept a man not committing to us and just making us a baby mom, Because people think that just being a baby mom is one thing to know.
Speaker 1:
We're saying no if you're not gonna commit to me if you're not gonna commit to building a family together.
Speaker 3:
Why do I just wanna have a baby with you? Why? Why? Because it starts with us at the end of the day.
Speaker 1:
It starts with us A man can't impregnate us without us unless they're doing something illegal. You know what I'm saying, but without our consent.
Speaker 3:
So it's like it starts with us saying, nah, this is not what I want as a woman. These are the standards that I stand on, these are my morals, these are my values, and if you come from that type of home, even more so, even more so. Going back to my environment, I was like, even if Jay and I decide to have a baby later on in life, there's certain standards, there's certain things that I know for a fact that I'm not going to take and just do the same thing with him, because it's like we already came from that, and we know what the outcome to that is.
Speaker 3:
So why would we be so selfish and do the same thing to the kid that we're gonna bring into this world together? Right, but it comes with us making a commitment to ourselves first.
Speaker 3:
Right exactly, and standing on those morals, standing on those values and accepting nothing less. You know we have to as a people, we have to get back to passing on values, but the reason why we even want to talk about this is because, again, you know, you have so many people talking or teaching about building wealth, generation of wealth, and our society is a lot different than it was 50 years ago. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
You know like we want to make sure that we really stamp this, because you know you get so many people talking about wealth building and you know passing down generation of wealth, but it all starts with the values, and who you procreate with is gonna determine what you can actually pass down and how you're gonna build a legacy. Yeah, and I think that's what we've gotten away from, especially in our generation, in our society.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I think so I agree with you about that, you know, and I think that one of the things I want to say before we hop off of here, it's like, as we think about you know, we're all living to get old or I don't like to say get old, but you know we all want to continue to keep living on this earth, right, you know.
Speaker 2:
and so it's like, when you think about that, we want to full everybody's life. You want to full life, Okay so that's good.
Speaker 3:
We want to have a full life and you know, I think that it. I guess what I'm trying to say is I hate to, I don't know what to use, or hate, think that we have to get to a point to where I don't want to sound judgmental and I don't want to, and I definitely don't want to sound like this is a, you know, attack. Yeah, it's like you know attack to get it, to get at people because, like we've all been, at certain places in our life, and we're all continued growing.
Speaker 3:
We're all continuing to grow. So, with that being said, well, basically what we're doing is we're just shining light on some of the, on some of the, on some of the things that we're accepting in our Community, that we no longer have to accept, and then we want to change things because, again, we're all. We're all.
Speaker 3:
We all want to have a full life you know we want to get to a point to where you can say at 45, at 50, where you know you want to get to, a point to where the family values that you have built, the family traditions, you know we're not still going to Christmas and talking about bestie suit. You see what?
Speaker 3:
I'm saying we're going to Christmas and we're really having our holidays, those big mama type of type of Family situations to, yeah, to wear the values and the legacy where you don't have people cussing around, you know your mama, your grandmother, you know where the kids respect everybody. Now, on tick tock, you see, I'm sorry, even if you are on tick tock, it's fun, it's not. It's not the meaning.
Speaker 2:
You know Positive value Whatever that may look like you know, but and I'm just saying where the film I'm saying, like in those movies we were, what we saw was a picture.
Speaker 3:
It's even on like family matters and all of those things. It was like a real family connection.
Speaker 1:
That's what I'm basically trying to say, so.
Speaker 3:
I'll send all that to say it's like, instead of us building broken families, like, let's go back to where, even on what we saw, even even on TV, if it wasn't real, we can still build that with it. What's real for us? You?
Speaker 2:
see them saying the TV show that we think back. You know one of my favorite TV shows was the water. Oh, I thought you think back. The theme of Martin was too young, too young people building their careers and Developing a life together. Yeah, that was what Martin and Gina was they had friends.
Speaker 2:
Small circle. They came together, they committed to each other. They went through a lot of ups and downs you know I'm saying a lot of financial Situations trying to find a way and then it ended with them both Taking it, taking a job, taking a career that they both wanted, and ended up in the same place to go to the next chapter in life. Wow, yeah, fresh Prince, that was a blended family. Yeah, you know a net, a nephew coming into a family situation that was that had been totally disrupted by his presence.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, but they worked through it yeah you know I'm saying, and they had values, there's values in him. They, they all could feel, set a foundation and he said a requirement and held them to that. You know. Even the kids, you know, you know all could feel, all the field was was rich. But then we go, we go to family matters to a cop. You know, police officers, family or working class family, but still established family values.
Speaker 3:
All of the fact, the values was first, yeah, the values, and so that's what we're saying. This is, this, is this is you know, just Just going back to the family values, and it's like it's not really about you did, about being a baby, mama, baby.
Speaker 1:
Daddy, you go get married and I, I mean, it is about that.
Speaker 3:
But, then it also just goes back to like what do you value personally?
Speaker 2:
And it's about thinking 20 years ahead, like, really sit that thing when you make your decisions and when you are. It like when you are, when you got people in your circle, whether it's friends, whether it's a significant other or somebody you just trying to get to know. Think about what your 20-year-old self is going to think to with the self that you are right now.
Speaker 3:
Cuz I guarantee you this and we gonna pop off after this. I guarantee you this everyone can go back and Like, let's be real, who cannot go back and say, don't five years ago or even a year ago, something that you wish you would have did differently.
Speaker 1:
So why?
Speaker 3:
don't we not make it decisions like that, so that we won't have to say I wish I would have did this differently. You see what I'm saying. So, yeah, okay, I'm not here.
Speaker 2:
Make sure y'all go subscribe. Yeah, I'll share the podcast to anybody that may help y'all continue to download. You know in Holladahs. You know if I was on IG at On your Keys. You know if y'all got questions, Tiktok. You know on Tiktok, yeah, so just y'all get to it.
Speaker 1:
Y'all have a, you know, happy holidays, and it's the On your Keys podcast. Okay, let's get to it. You just got on your keys. You just got on your keys.